My Big Brother Sean Marshall Brown

My brother, Sean, died unexpectedly on June 15, 2010. He had many family and friends and will be greatly missed by all those who knew him. I miss my brother so much and was having a really bad "missing him day" after talking to one of his good friends tonight. I love you Sean. You're my big brother forever! You always were one of my greatest heroes growing up. I'll miss you for always.

Memories With Him

1. One night I slept over at Sean's apartment in Ogden with him, we were supposed to go kayaking the next day. When I got there he took my hand and brought me around to every apartment to introduce me to all his friends saying, "This is my baby sister!!"

2. Me, Sean, and my dad all went to the movies one day. I wanted to buy a pair of swim shorts so my dad waited in line while Sean and I walked over to the Layton Mall. Sean took my hand in the parking lot when he saw a boy looking at me, holding it all boyfriend/girlfriend like. I was laughing so hard but got so mad at him because he refused to let go. he wanted every guy there to think I was unavailable... haha so protective.

3. Almost every day after elementary school Sean made me watch stupid Jackie Chan with him. He wouldn't ever let me watch the shows I wanted to watch. I don't think I ever told him then that I actually started to like the dumb show.

4. On one of our annual Moab trips I begged Sean to teach me how to drive a stick. I think I almost tipped his Jeep over two or three times on that little drive. I was freaking out the whole time and kept telling him to come take the wheel but he never would. Told me I could do it. He did get a bit frustrated though after I killed it about ten times.. :)

5. When Sean came home from his mission we didn't even know he was coming! Well, my parents knew... but Kyle, Lindy, and I had no idea! We thought we were going to the airport to meet my cousin, Derek, who served in the same mission as Sean. Imagine how surprised we were to see Sean walking off the plane right behind Derek! He didn't even recognize me when I ran up and gave him a hug... he looked at my mom as if to say, "Who is this??" Ha... it took him about thirty seconds to realize it was me. Silly Sean... Haha we were sooo mad at him!

6. When Sean moved back in with us he'd always come into my room in the morning and wake me up by crawling into my bed with me. I thought he was so weird! He'd steal all the blankets and then wiggle around and do his stupid little giggle... ha.. I miss that.

7. Sean used to always remind me that he changed my diapers when I was a baby girl. :)

8. Sean had this weird fascination with my chin... He would sit there and rub it and say, "Your chin is soooooo soft!" Then when introducing me to people he would grab me by my chin and practically force them to feel how soft it was! Haha... I remember him telling me it was even softer than Logan's bum! (It's still just as soft, Big Brother! Always, for you...)

I heart my family

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu

I love my family with all my heart and am so entirely grateful for them. We have been through a lot this past year, but we got through it, together. I don't know what I would have ever done without being able to call my mom anytime I wanted to cry, hear my dad say, "I'll unhook my truck and come get you right now and move you back home!" haha.. or get some laughs from Kyle and Lin. They are my favorite people in the whole world and I wouldn't trade them for anything! I've missed my brother Sean so much since he passed away this last summer.. but I am grateful he met Jill and they had a beautiful baby boy to add to our family before he left our world. Families aren't perfect, but mine's pretty close. Even though I don't fully understand it all, it will work out.. and we'll all be together again. And in that day I want to see Sean dance and hear him say, "Bakaaah!" Haha... love you guys.

This is my oh so handsome nephew, Logan!!! Isn't he the most adorable baby boy you've ever seen? I remember one day I was either facebooking or skyping Sean after Logan was born and they were back living in Arizona. He said something like, "Isn't he the CUTEST baby boy in the whole world?!" I replied, "Yes, one of the cutest I've ever seen." He responded, "NO. Not ONE OF THE CUTEST.... THE CUTEST." Haha... Sean was so proud of his Logie Bear. I can still hear him saying, "This is my baby boy! My BABY BOY!" I cannot wait to watch you grow up, Logan! You Auntie loves you so so so much! My heart and loves go out to one handsome little boy in Arizona! Mwah!!!

Life before the creation of this blog.

Just thought I would share some pictures from my life in the last couple of years! Family, friends, and me.. It's a good life!

The four of us at our best :) The picture says enough..

Sean and I on New Years of 2010 at the Weizbowski's residence! Logan had just been born 3 days prior! We all ran outside banging pots and pans and of course, Sean was the craziest!
Sam and Steve at their best! Love them! Miss them! Both serving full time missions!

Stephen and I at the Chantilly Mansion for Cotillion! Beautiful night! Stephen is now serving in Fort Worth, Texas for his mission. He is happy to be there and loving every second of it!For Prom, our dates thought it would be fun to enjoy horse back riding on Antelope Island!
The fam on our anual Moab trip! Just got to the bottom of hiking the delicate arch. Love Moab! Saskia was our foreign exchange student from Germany.. she loved seeing Moab and camping with us!
Josh and I at the beach in beautiful sweet Cali!

The Russians and I with a California sunset! Beautiful! Happy to be there.. :)


Kayaking trip to Lake Powell! Loved it! Kayaking is one of my absolute most favorite things to do in the whole world! Would kayak every day if I could! One day I will own me a kayak! ...Summer of 2010!

New Years 2011!!! I was home for the holidays and was able to spend the night with many of my close guy friends! I love you all! Seth, Derek, Me, Mitch, Quaid, and Curtis! Fun night!

My first college roomie! My life would not be complete without her! Brie Beckham, welcome to my life! California and the Russians! Serj, Kate, and Julia were all visiting America this past summer and stopped in St. George. Josh and I decided to join them on an adventure to California. So grateful that I met them! I learned so much from them about Russia! Ya tibya leblu!

Noelle, Andie, and I hiked the Volcano in St. George! Noelle was a little timid about going to the top... ;) But good times!

...And a blog was created.

I don't know why I have never had a blog before now, or why all the sudden it seemed like such a great idea... maybe it was the endless hours sitting at my parents watching movies over and over again in the same spot on the couch for days and days. I have been sick lately and because of that- confined to La Casa De Los Padres. Not that I don't love coming home and being with the family. They're great. Movies, card games, shopping trips, yummy food, etc. But, after just having arrived back to the lovely college apartment only to get sick three small days later and come right back home again... you begin to miss your messy apartment and roommates. So there it is! This blog was created mostly out of boredom, somewhat out of excitement, and a little out of LOVE. Or maybe a lot. So this is me, here I go. Welcoming you and pouring out my heart and soul, thoughts and desires, dreams and aspirations... or maybe just venting. We'll see. Enjoy!